Hi, my name is Corrie and I’m a total disaster. HA no, not really. Despite the very real truth of the title of this blog post and what may seem to most as some major set backs, I have never been more inspired.
We will never achieve what we are capable of if we are too attached to the things we are supposed to let go of. It is not that I hated my job, I just enjoyed the idea of running my own business a lot more. I actually loved my job. Well, I loved the people and the opportunity, but the role was rarely fulfilling to me. It got to a point that I wanted out, but felt obligated to stay. Ignoring my growing unhappiness for the sake of sticking with a commitment, and the pure necessity of capturing an income was, and will always be, a very poor decision.
Not listening to my inner wisdom telling me that I should leave my job resulted in a self-inflicted defacing of my character. I found myself not only entertaining a conflict of interest, but lying about it. HOLY SHIT. “Holy shit, who am I?!” went through my mind a lot in the hours after my betrayal, and before admitting to it. I was in awe of myself. Never had I behaved in such a way. My character, above all, is what I cherish and value most. So how was it that I had found myself in such an undesirable place?
The lesson here is to listen, folks. LISTEN to that inner intuition when it is screaming at you. For how clear the lines are now, the only explanation is that my soul played a trick on my mind. The soul tricked the mind into a situation that would force me to leave my job so I could be free to fully take on the work my soul so eagerly desires.
So how am I going to tackle my life’s work if I totaled my car, you’re wondering? A bike of course. Ha, I’m kidding. I will use public transportation as well. Okay, and the insurance money to buy a new car, eventually. Until then though, it’s summer time in Colorado. All you need is a bike, right?
Allow me to conclude how my life’s outward appearance of disarray is actually the exact step forward I have been asking for. The accident that totaled my car took place not 10 minutes after or even a quarter mile from where the “conflict of interest” that would soon get me fired took place. (Talk about karma wasting NO time). As mentioned, I had already taken a step back from my job to give myself the time needed to start my own wellness business. working less, and moving to an hourly wage meant less money coming in to support both myself and my start up. Money was tight and I found myself sending prayers to manifest the money I needed. The insurance pay out for my car ended up being more than I would have expected anyone to pay for it, and damn near the exact amount I had been praying for to help start my business. So now I have the money I needed, a freed up schedule to focus on my business, and a bike to get me from point A to B. It would have been cool if the money came without the loss of my car, but its OKAY! Not only am I being kinder to the environment, but it’s better for my health and ties directly into the message and lifestyle approach I am looking to encourage with my business.
I don’t wish to ignore that this did all come at a expense of a big black mark on my character, and for that I am regretful. However remorseful I may be for what feels like the loss of a friend, I must and will stay positive and true to my beliefs that everything DOES happen for a reason and hope that the four years of my honest work will count for something in eventually mending a meaningful relationship.
So in short, listen to your inner wisdom when it is screaming at you and when shit goes bad, change up your perspective. You might just realize you got exactly what you had been praying for.
written by: Corrie Brown 5/23/17